“What did you think of today’s staff meeting,” I asked a colleague in the parking lot.

“Do you remember two years ago when we had to draw pigs?” she said.

I didn’t remember, but I wasn’t surprised to hear we had spent the time drawing swine. How long, I wondered, did it take to figure out how to relate drawing swine to teaching?

It was finals week and all the students were let out at 12:33. The rest of the time was allotted for the teachers for grading and whatever else needed to be done to wrap up the semester. However, administration thought our time would be better spent playing games. Now there was an hour dedicated to showing the teachers the ins-and-outs of My Big Campus, but the remaining hour and half was games (never mind the staff meeting was 2 1/2 hours). You heard me! We played games for an hour and a half.

I had no idea we’d be playing games for an hour and a half, so I didn’t bother to call my wife to let her know I’d be later than usual.

“Hello!? I’m home!” I yelled as I walked through the door.

“Love, where have you been? I’ve been waiting and waiting for you. I even called the school. I thought something bad had happened to you.”

You have to understand the reason for my wife’s extra sensitivity to my lateness–I ride a motorcycle. So if I’m running late, images of my new contortionist skills on the freeway begin to form in her imagination.

“So what was taking so long in your meeting?” she asked.

“Um. We were playing games. There were three groups: one group had to keep their hands on their butt, another their shoulders, and another on their head. Then we played tag to see which group would dominate.”

The look on her face brought more clarity to the situation than I cared for.

“I thought staff meetings were supposed be about your work?”

“I think so,” I thought to myself.

Yes, I had run around the gym with my hands on my butt for a staff meeting. I convinced myself it was job security. The things we do to keep our jobs.

I’m still trying to make sense of it all and what it had to do with teaching English, but I doubt I’ll arrive at anything meaningful. Eventually all the fun had to stop, so they herded us into our departments and asked us to commit to using one game in our classroom to increase student engagement. Well intentioned, but really? Making teachers hold their butt and run around the gym was just over the top.

I can’t help but wonder if teachers and students are really in need of all these educational gimmicks. People appear to have done just fine in education without all the bells and whistles and swine drawings and butt holding.